there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
