I wannas sexs uuuuu
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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