Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
