Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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