why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
