what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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