6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
