i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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