I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
