4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
