My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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