i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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