Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
