wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize