Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
