I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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