Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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