Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
