there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
