I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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