So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
