It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
