i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
