when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
