And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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