Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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