He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Buhtt sex?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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