he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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