if you like me you must not know who I am
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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