he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
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I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
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I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Randomize