yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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