that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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