OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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