So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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