holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
