he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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