Can Purell be used as lube?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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