I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
