who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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