Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
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