Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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