He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
