yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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