So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
please don't ironically join a cult
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