roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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