There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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