chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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