the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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