You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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