Whod you bang
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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