if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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