Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
no you cant smoke seaweed
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
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