her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
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It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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