can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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