nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
