you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
