We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
The uberlube is also flammable
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
