lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
