I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
