No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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