I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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