I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
