problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
