How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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