He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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